Currently Listening Welcome to the Cruel World By Ben Harper Forever see related

Beauty In Roses-- A Revelation

David Roncskevitz 7/22/08

“Beauty in Roses”

The ever-so-elusive quest

    Meandering to its ever-so-dilatory

                                                                        Answer—

The primal dance preceding

    The natural and inevitable falling

                                                           Rain,

We shout hollow hallelujahs to the

            Constantly changing winds,

 Celebrating our confusion

          Of causality

                     And coincidence—

Do we need to search

                            For the beauty in roses?    Or

                                                 Do we merely observe

                                   The beauty in its blood,

                                                                 Red petals, cascading down,

                                         Overlapping the erect,

Green stem,

Reaching,

Ever-so-upward,

To absorb the

Life of all

Co-existing

Around it?

It is the illusion of the Journey

That distracts us from

The Revelation .

Beauty is not found,

It is realized,

It is revealed

Through reflection,

Not arbitration.

The rose is lovely,

                                    Because it is lovely.

                                                                        And what is lovely is beautiful.

I love the rose,

                                    Because I know I love

                                                                        The beauty in the roses.

Currently Listening Rameau: Castor & Pollux Churs et danses Tristes Apprets see related

new poem, stream of conscience draft

Funeral For Monday (Resurrection of Tuesday)

David A. Roncskevitz

Perched atop some grand cathedral

            Or perhaps a mausoleum,

The likes of which I am no longer privy

I allow the smoke from my pipe to carry my thoughts

            Into the eastward wind,

Stolen away, never to bite at the heels of my brain again

I gaze placidly,

Like an ancient mariner on a stagnant sea

Across the expanse of some vast horizon

And ponder my great escape from this city of sound.

Not many people stray this far from the lights and glares of late,

It would seem the company of the brave which would dare

            To venture into realms silence laden,

                                                Silence thickened,

Where only the disembodied coo of the white morning doves

            And the rushing sensation of the ebbing wind

                        Brushing calmly across the exposed skin of

                                    My wrinkling brow, while

Some Apollo glides past in his blazing chariot,  

            The flames violently licking the air in the furious struggle,

                        Countermanding the languid ambient space.

Carefully observe the aplomb pallor of the sun god

            As he prepares to steal the sun from the wounded welkin,

                        Red as blood blanketing the masses of walking dead.

I decided once to visit the capitol, and what a dismal sight beheld me.

            The sub fusc skyline a dolorous mosaic of grays and blacks,

All the while, the cowed human herds flocked mechanically

            To the caterwauls of the Great American Noise Rush,

Without thought, without color, without will

A populace of moths fluttering hopelessly into the luminous maelstrom,

                        The harrowing cacophony emanating

From the glorious industrial flash-bang,

                                         Transforming souls into dollars

—the new alchemy.

Not a word, not a song, not a breath, men without tongues

            Even then the residual white noise of a thousand unspoken thoughts

                        Stings my ears, and I recoiled in…. fear?

No.

It was more than fear.

Horror.

Yes.

It was close to horror.

But that was on a Sunday long ago.

As for me?

I just sit here waiting on the funeral procession for today;

                          On their way to the funeral for Monday.

        Always followed by the resurrection of Tuesday.

What a glorious changing of hands, in my experience.

I watch the black trickle viscously down to envelop

The final gasping bands of gold attending

The sun which still barely dangles exhaustingly in the sky,

Floating upon an ocean of a thousand goodbyes

            Spoken in utter, impenetrable silence.

Would anyone care to say a few words?

Would anyone care to hear a few words?

Well, it was a good day, and I’m sad to see it go.

But at least we know it lives on in our memories,

It’s in a better place now.

Copyright David Roncskevitz  July 2, 2008

A CRY FOR THE STONE AGE: FATE OF THE HUMAN PARASITE

Advances in modern technology can generally be boiled down to man’s ultimate pursuit to achieve one particular goal: becoming God. Innately, I believe man wants to find a way to control everything, to become at least a god over the world in which he lives. Why? Because in order to survive, we are all born, basically, “greedy,” or else in the struggle perpetuated by natural selection if we were to be “generous” we would never find resources for ourselves. We are born with the desire to obtain and consume resources in the most “hunter/gatherer” sense so that we can continue living. It is when this “greed” continues past survival that it becomes a moral problem. When we no longer need to consume with the same ferocity and in the same quantity as we did when our survival depended on it, yet we continue still, that is when it becomes debauchery and a moral problem.

Due to insufficient parenting and the enabling properties of much modern technology (i.e. the television, the remote control, escalators, liposuction, plastic surgery, computers, cell phones, cars, the internet, abortion clinics, the condom, birth control, etc…) mankind has found any and every way to thwart the natural checks on the responsibilities and obligations that regulate that initial “greed” and subsequently become the socially acceptable human parasite. We now consume natural resources at exponential rates as if they were limitless, and when they run out, we just try to find ways to create them ourselves, and unfortunately often times we succeed.

When natural oil runs out what do we turn to? Electric cars. When those are too expensive to buy or too inconvenient to build and/or use, what then? Crops to create ethanol fuel. When that runs out what are we going to do? Solar power? No. Probably not, because it’s too inconsistent for the busy lives we have built around the convenience of such technologies which I believe will ultimately be our downfall. If we continue building life around our conveniences without regard to the ultimate repercussions that WILL happen down the road, we shall be our own undoing.

Technology isn’t inherently bad. It is a fact that there are many families that benefit greatly from it, but it is the hands in which technology is placed that have the potential to turn it bad, and if we are not going to use technology for good, or even if most of us do but the few that don’t end up creating things like the nuclear bomb or biological warfare or human clones, is that evil really worth the good that it brings? Or does the evil outweigh the good? I know evil will never leave the world, but I do not think that is any kind of excuse to say to the terrorist, “hey, we created this for good, but since it’s not like you are going to change your mind about killing people, I guess you can have it anyway.” That is absurd. If we’ve been able to survive without it for hundreds of thousands of years, I say we still can, despite the INCREDIBLE convenience much technology really does afford us, I don’t think it outweighs the evil it can bring about put in the over eager and essentially unready hands of many Americans and others around the world.

Currently Listening Five Score and Seven Years Ago By Relient K Deathbed see related

Some People who have changed my life and helped me become the man I am today

(in the best chronological order that I can remember, and if you feel I have left out out, I assure that it was not intentional and hope that at some point in our relationship you will realize that I love you just as much as any of the people on this list and our relationship still means a great deal to me):

1. Marlene and Kirk Roncskevitz- You are the best parents anyone could possibly ask for. Despite the turmoil, the struggle, the pain, you still taught me everything about growing up to be the dedicated, and although imperfect, the idealistic Godly man (“man” not defined by society’s standards, but by God’s) that I am called to be. You instilled me with the values, the passion, the love, and the intellect necessary for me to be the incredibly happy and passionate man I am today. And for that, my love for you is undying no matter what should ever happen.

2. Ramon Quinones- You taught me the value of education. You were the first teacher I could every say really cared about his students even though his students didn’t care very much about him. You were my tutor, my history teacher, and my friend. Without having you as my teacher in Seventh grade, I can say with confidence I would not have the curious intellect and insatiable desire for knowledge that I have today.

3.Matthew Dotegowski- You are my cousin, and at one point basically who I wanted to be when I grew up. In a time when I had no idea who I was or what I wanted to do with my life (or what good music was), I saw you and how laid back and happy someone could be in the most simple circumstances. It was my view of you that taught me the value of sometimes just sitting back when things don’t go your way and reminding yourself, “that’s life…. so chill man.”

4. Zachary Clenney- You were probably one of my first actual “best friends” I could ever say I really had. When I moved to Franklin after leaving new jersey, I hated it with all my heart. I had no friends, a divided family, and no faith, and had I not met you, I don’t know what I would’ve ended up doing. Other than my own father, I had never met someone so incredibly disciplined, honorable, and well rounded much like the Knights and Samurai of old; someone who did not let society define what a “man” was, but had lived their life according to what they knew a “man” was. A man was not someone who could chug the most beers or sleep with the most chicks or even drive the fastest car, he was the warrior committed to his higher ideals that knew his faults, knew his emotions, and still used his strengths to control them, yet always keeping them in his heart. A man was a leader who never asked to be a leader and never desired more power or strength than he could handle, instead he just did was he knew he was called to do and those around him loved him for it.

5. William Harlin- You are the best teacher I have ever had. Someone who taught me more about life inside and outside the classroom than I had ever expected from somebody who worked at a school. In the classroom, both World history honors and AP European history, never had I ever dreamed of learning so much from one person. My love of history and passion for knowledge was ignited in that classroom. Outside the class as my track coach, I always describe you as “the running nazi” but it is in the most profoundly endearing way. You taught me my limits, and then you made me surpass them (much to my displeasure at the time, but isn’t that how it always kind of works out?). Looking back, I will never know what kept me on that team when I hated the sport so much. I will always remember the moment I realized how incredibly naïve I really was when it came to life and how much I complained about it when I said to you jokingly on the track, “I would like this if we didn’t have to run so much,” and you replied, “Well, you didn’t join the swim team, David. This is track. You run, or you leave.” I think it was the certainty and conviction in that statement that brought the revelation that “that’s life… so don’t just sit there, make it yours or die trying.” I could never ask for a better teacher. May God bless your for all the ways you have blessed me.

6.  Karen Roberson- Words cannot express they ways which I wish I could thank you for the many years of lessons we spent in your corner room in Directed studies, English II, and English IV. Whenever people ask me why I like to read, how I always have some sort of helpful advice for almost any situation, why I love school so much, and how I have such a good vocabulary, I generally reply, “English IV AP and Karen Roberson. That class and that teacher changed my entire life!” Until I took your class, not only did I hate school (except for history) but I hated reading. It was your advice, “An avid writer is an avid reader” that helped me realize not only how much reading is important, but you can only get as much out of life as you put into it. I can only write my own words (live/experience/love) as well as I have read and listened to those of others. You taught me the art of conversation, and the incredible wealth of academic and life knowledge that literature and the world has to offer. You were the controlled rebel, the cunningly subtle revolutionary that taught me to live the same. Being the bugle is not always as valuable as being the comedian; by that I mean that always obnoxiously and pretentiously spouting off your beliefs is not half as effective and affection worthy as being the one that knows everything but presents their ideas per other’s requests, only saying as much as needed when it is necessary and in a way that you aren’t making other people listen to a speech about how you are right and they are wrong, but more in a, “this is what I think, and I’m happy, so it works out for me. You do what you think you should do and if you’re happy, you win.”

But at the same time, this philosophy you presented arose a lot of suspicion in my heart when I considered it at face value. It was not until I came to college that I realized the limitation I’m sure you feel is a given and that is never to let either your head or your heart dominate your actions. Sometimes happiness is deceiving. Many people think happiness is an emotion like anger or sadness, in fact if you were to just ask someone, “what is the opposite of happiness?” I’m sure their answer would be “sadness,” when in fact, it is just “unhappiness” which is not limited to just “sadness.” Why? Happiness is not an emotion, it is a way of life. It is love, it is joy, it is passion (guided by virtues, not selfish reasoning), it is zeal, it is knowledge, it is experience. Unhappiness is everything else. I don’t think I would have learned that, at least as early in life as I have, without your help, and for that, the little angel on my shoulder always kind of sounds like you mixed with my father. You were more than a teacher, you were a leader.

7. Rachel Rowland- You were my first of many things. My first girlfriend. My first kiss. My first cuddle. My first relationship that surpassed the casual and delved into the mysterious chasms of intimacy. My first song. My first poem. My first huge text message bill. My first four hour conversation. My first “I’m so nervous I’m about to explode.” My first awkward profession of affection (remember…. “uuuuuuh…… I mean….. I really like talking to you…… [twenty minutes later…. Literally] I gues what I’m trying to say is…. I like you”). And also, my first regret: for never before have I regretted something as much as I regret the way that I treated you. Your affections were daring, they were brave, they were unconditional, they were unique, and they were dominant. Basically, you were the man in our relationship, I was the fickle little scared out of his mind girl. You never gave me any reason to be mad with you except for the fact that you never ever grew angry at me, and even if you did, you never told me about it, which is not necessarily a good thing, but we are all human. It was this feeling of the “perfect relationship” that made me, the 14 year old freshman in high school that had never before had a girlfriend, much less kiss a girl, feel like I was married. Needless to say, I panicked, and twice I broke up with you. I was asked by you to step out of my comfort zone “one too many times” and instead of realizing that life relationships, maturity requires that constant uncomfortable step and sticking with you, I took the easy, cowardly way out and I dropped you like a morning calculus class. It was not until much later in life (the culmination being when you and Ian began dating) did I realize just how much I gave up, how much I had let my fears rule my judgment, and ever since then, I have never taken anything for granted ever again. You deserved much better than what I gave you and never will I be able to look back and justify half the stupid things I did. And although we are both very different people now, I do still hope we will always be friends. Yours is a friendship I greatly cherish and will never forget.

8.Shannon Braithewaite/ Emily McNish/ Jacklyn Steifel/ Caroline Beard- Altough we do not talk very much anymore due to our many differences and/or distances with college and what not, It was your little group that you most generously invited the awkward little ROTC, anti social, tall kid into (me) that finally, in Emily and Jackie’s immortal words, “broke me out of my shell.” I really genuinely do believe that I owe my entire social life in high school, and probably even today, to that exact awakening in my life which you girls brought about. For this, I owe you a most profound and affectionate gratitude I don’t know I will ever fully know how to express, and I hope one day that we will all be as close as we once were again.

9. Paul Richard Baumgartner a.k.a. “Beegeezee”- You were my first great friend. My other half. My co-writer/musician/conspirator/partner in crime. Without you I don’t think I would have the passion for fun and music that I have today. We were the A.D.H.D. gang, members, only two. Me and you bud. Some of my most incredibly dear and hilarious memories never would have happened without you. Even though the law no longer considers us related, I will always think of you as my brother. I love you man.

10. Amanda Baldwin- Although we don’t talk half as much as we used to, you will always be the main reason why I am the Christian I am today. Until we had our little starbucks talk, I was a faithless man. Despite his good intentions, other circumstances (which I will never fully understand) caused me to hate my father for dragging me to church every Sunday, and subsequently hate God and his church also. I strongly believe that since all knowledge and perception is relative, the way we view the archetypal image and role of God is defined by the way we view our father, and although my father was a fantastic father, he was without a doubt a very strict one. Whether you know it or not, I do not think I was ever in my life a real Christian until we met. In fact, senior year, I was determined to prove to myself that I didn’t need a “God” to even be happy. I just told people I was a Christian just because I had always gone to Christian churches. I was never really given a choice, and choice is what Christianity is founded on. Until we met, I always had this picture of God sitting on a throne looking something like a very old mixture of my Father and Sean Connery holding a scepter and pointing his finger down at me saying, “No! No! No! That’s not what you are supposed to do! You are a terrible person! You disgust me!” and needless to say, no one can love somebody like that. But love is precisely what God and Christianity is all about, and that’s the revelation I needed to finally be able to really live like Christ and this is the revelation you spurred in me:

This is what “Christianity” really means. Not living the way your preacher or you parents tell you to your whole life, but living the way Christ lived. The romans named the Christians, they didn’t name themselves. The Romans called them Christians because they resembled Christ, they lived the way He did, not because they all wore really nice clothes to some weekly Sunday meeting where they talk about everything you should and should not do. Not because they handed out tracts to “sinners and heathens” all the time. Not because they all cut their hair really short and didn’t listen to rock music and isolated themselves from “corrupt society.” They were Christ like because of their their passion and faith in a Savior that selflessly gave up his life for the good of humanity, their conviction that caused them to risk their lives every day in order to serve a God that the Roman Emperor outlawed even when they would be tossed into coliseums into the mouths of Lions and Bears. But mainly, they were Christians because of their unconditional love. Because they would hang out with anybody and be nice to everybody and never complain or selfishly walk through life. They were sure of themselves and dedicated to something higher than what money can buy. In short, they were happy.

And onto this I will add the name “Erwin Raphael McManus” because after I read his book “Uprising of the Soul” my life was never to be the same. That day marked the best day and the first day of the rest of my Christian and normal life (besides my camping trip when I turned 18.) It was the day I finally woke up and began living and completely joy filled life for the rest of my life worthy of christ’s sacrifice. In the words of McManus himself, “Many people waste their lives trying to gain other people’s attention when really they should be living a life that is worthy of other people’s attention.” This line changed me forever.

Also, it was through your invitation to Naomi’s house that one time that I met my first real best friends ever who would, and still are, sticking with me for the rest of my life.

Which marks the end of this list, the list of my childhood, for after all this is when I feel I finally became a man. The next list will be a list of those who are helping me shape my destiny, and will take much more time to compile, so be ready for it. and a bulk of it is going to be the FRANKLIN CREW! SO YOU GUYS GET READY! Even though you have heard a majority of it during the affirmations we did over the summer, her comes round II.

Currently Listening Led Zeppelin III By Led Zeppelin Since I've Been Loving You see related

New Poem, "The Jazzman"

Jazzman—

His head, loose and free, swings

            Slowly, left to right, eyes closed

Like a pendulum, a metronome, counting

            The beats, the words my soul, uninhibited

Shout at the top of their throats, each syllable

            Perfect rhyme in the blackness of time

I am a candle’s flame dancing in the air while someone gently blows

On the wick, elegance of candelabrum with the fury of fire,

                                    I am wild, untamed, uncouth, and unabashed-

Splashy cymbals like crashing waves

            Send chills up my neck, a tingling in my chest

She’s licking her lips, dragging her finger, slowly

            Down her face, euphoria in a moment of oblivion.

Heartbeats replaced by thumbing bass and pounding drums

                                    I am free, alone in a desert of time, unbound by time

                                                Tonight is flying, a night all mine-

Fleeting breaths

Smells of sweat

“Beans and Cornbread”

Gently brush her hips

Swish, tap, tap, swish,

The sound of putting out a cigarette as it

                                    Cracks and snaps—so crisp

If you were to pour a fine champagne down my ear, I would

                        Hear the fizz as it slips, coolly down into my brain,

                                    So smooth, yet as the alcohol burns, so real

And then, I would call it jazz.